Alex Bruno
In a move that has left the tech and media worlds reeling, eccentric billionaire Elon Musk has acquired the edgy news outlet Vice.com. But the acquisition was merely a prelude to the real shocker: Musk’s ultimate goal was to personally fire each and every staff member, all while live streaming the event on Twitter.
The SpaceX and Tesla CEO, known for his ambitious projects and mercurial behavior, has added a new feather to his cap with the acquisition of Vice.com. Insiders report that Musk’s sole motivation for the purchase was his desire to “clean house” at the digital media outlet and usher in a new era – dubbed “Vice 2.0.”
The firings were live-streamed to millions of viewers, with Musk going door-to-door at the Vice offices, pink slips in hand. As he bid adieu to each staff member, Musk offered his trademark smirk and a customized “You’re fired, but it’s not the end of the world” t-shirt, a reference to his aspirations for Mars colonization.
After the dust had settled and the Vice offices were empty, Musk took to Twitter to announce his vision for the future of the media outlet. “Vice 2.0 will revolutionize journalism by focusing exclusively on Martian news, electric car racing, and AI-generated memes. Say goodbye to the old Vice and hello to a new era of edgy reporting,” he tweeted.
The media landscape has been left buzzing with speculation about the future of Vice.com under Musk’s leadership. Some have hailed the move as a bold step forward for journalism, while others have criticized Musk for what they see as an ego-driven power play. In response to the naysayers, Musk tweeted a GIF of himself shrugging, captioned “Haters gonna hate.”
As Vice 2.0 prepares to launch under the watchful eye of its new overlord, Elon Musk, one thing is for certain: the world of journalism will never be the same. In the meantime, the now-jobless former Vice employees can take solace in their unique t-shirts, which are already being sold on eBay for a tidy sum.
