Alex Bruno
In a dramatic turn of events that has left millions of viewers staring at blank screens and scratching their heads, NBC Comcast has taken ABC off the air, citing what they describe as an “unforgivable betrayal” of journalistic integrity. According to NBC executives, ABC’s handling of the recent presidential debate, particularly their aggressive fact-checking of former President Donald Trump, has crossed a line that can no longer be tolerated.
“They owe the American people an apology,” declared NBC Comcast in a fiery press release. “ABC has not only failed as a network but also as a trusted pillar of the media industry. This isn’t just about ratings or competition. This is about honor, truth, and the right to tell outrageous lies without being interrupted by pesky facts.”
It all started with the much-anticipated presidential debate between Donald Trump and Kamala Harris, hosted by ABC. With the nation on edge and expecting fireworks, ABC delivered more than just the usual verbal sparring—it gave viewers a full-blown media circus.
Moderators David Muir and Linsey Davis weren’t just there to ask questions and occasionally nod thoughtfully. No, they had a new mission: fact-checking Trump in real-time. Every time Trump launched into one of his more colorful claims—whether it was about Democrats supporting “baby executions” or immigrants in Ohio eating people’s pets—Muir and Davis jumped in to provide instant corrections.
“Actually, Mr. Trump, that’s not true,” Davis said, mid-debate, while Muir nodded somberly like a principal scolding a student caught cheating on an open-book test.
The fact-checking blitzkrieg didn’t sit well with the former president’s supporters or, apparently, with NBC Comcast. For them, ABC’s relentless pursuit of accuracy was an affront to the very essence of what a debate should be: unfiltered, unchecked grandstanding.
“What we witnessed wasn’t a debate—it was a hit job,” said an unnamed NBC executive. “The American people deserve to hear their candidates speak freely, whether what they’re saying is fact, fiction, or complete fantasy. Interrupting Trump every five minutes to tell him he’s wrong? That’s just rude.”
In response to ABC’s fact-checking “overreach,” NBC Comcast made a bold decision: take ABC off the air. And just like that, millions of households across America were left in the dark, unable to tune into their favorite ABC shows like The Bachelor, Grey’s Anatomy, or Shark Tank.
NBC Comcast’s statement left no room for interpretation: “ABC’s reckless behavior during the debate has proven they can no longer be trusted to provide fair and balanced coverage. Until they publicly apologize to the American people, we will not allow their programming to poison the airwaves any longer.”
The announcement set off a media firestorm. Pundits, politicians, and Twitter trolls alike weighed in on the unprecedented blackout. Some praised NBC for taking a stand against what they saw as ABC’s “elitist” attempts to control the narrative. Others were left confused, wondering if NBC Comcast had somehow missed the point that factual information is generally considered a good thing.
But in a world where misinformation spreads faster than a Kardashian Instagram post, NBC Comcast seemed to think they had the moral high ground. “We believe in the freedom of speech, and that includes the freedom to say things that may not be entirely true,” the company’s statement continued. “By fact-checking Trump, ABC violated that sacred principle. We cannot in good conscience support a network that doesn’t trust the American people to believe whatever they want to believe.”
As news of the blackout spread, viewers took to social media to express their outrage—though, predictably, the responses were as divided as the current political climate.
“Thank you, NBC, for standing up for the truth!” one Twitter user posted, presumably unaware of the irony in that statement. “Fact-checking is just censorship in disguise.”
Others were less supportive: “All I wanted was to watch Dancing with the Stars, not get dragged into some media war! Give me my sequins and awkward celebrity cha-chas back!”
ABC’s regular programming—beloved by millions for its wholesome dramas and reality TV escapism—was suddenly unavailable, and the public wasn’t happy about it. Many viewers began petitioning for the blackout to end, arguing that they just wanted to watch Jeopardy! without getting dragged into NBC Comcast’s righteous battle for free speech.
“I didn’t sign up for this,” said one disgruntled viewer on a Reddit thread. “I just want to see who wins America’s Funniest Home Videos this week, not get caught in some weird debate about who’s allowed to lie on live television.”
Meanwhile, ABC remained notably silent on the issue. No apology was issued, and no attempt was made to restore its programming on NBC Comcast’s platforms. Insiders at the network suggested that ABC executives were weighing their options, unsure whether to issue a vague, PR-approved apology or to dig in and refuse to apologize for holding a political candidate accountable for, you know, actual facts.
One ABC executive, speaking anonymously, said, “We stand by our moderators. Fact-checking isn’t an attack on free speech—it’s just a way to prevent the complete collapse of reality on national television. If NBC Comcast wants an apology for that, they’ll be waiting a long time.”
As the standoff continues, industry experts are already calling it the media feud of the century. With NBC Comcast doubling down on their demands for an apology and ABC refusing to back down, it’s unclear how—or if—this will ever be resolved.
Could this be the beginning of a new era in broadcasting, where networks openly wage war over their interpretation of truth and fairness? Will fact-checking become the new battleground in the media’s fight for relevance? Or will viewers simply tune out altogether, fed up with being caught in the crossfire of egos and ethics?
For now, millions of Americans are left without their beloved ABC programming, while NBC Comcast holds firm in their crusade for free, unfettered debate—fact-free if necessary.
And as for the American people who just want to watch some mindless TV after a long day at work? Well, they’re still waiting for that apology.
NOTE: This is SATIRE, Not Real News.
