Alex Bruno
In a move that can only be described as the media equivalent of throwing in the towel, ABC has officially announced it will no longer host presidential debates, citing both overwhelming backlash and—shockingly—financial strain. The news, which has left political pundits and media insiders scrambling for answers, comes on the heels of the network’s much-maligned handling of the recent Trump vs. Kamala Harris debate. The chaos of that event, paired with plummeting ratings and disgruntled sponsors, seems to have been the final nail in the coffin for ABC’s debate-hosting career.
“We can’t afford it anymore,” an ABC executive said candidly in a press conference, his voice a mix of defeat and relief. “Between fact-checking, security for the moderators, and the endless complaints from both political parties, we’re simply hemorrhaging too much money. It’s not worth it.”
Enter Fox News, the media giant that wasted no time stepping in to claim the mantle of official debate host for the next showdown. Known for its unabashedly ratings-driven approach to politics, Fox is already promising a debate “unlike any other,” free from the burdens of truth and accountability that ABC so foolishly tried to uphold.
To fully understand why ABC decided to bow out of the debate business, we have to revisit the disaster that was the Trump vs. Kamala Harris debate. Billed as the political event of the century, it quickly descended into a chaotic spectacle of interruptions, accusations, and—perhaps most controversially—real-time fact-checking.
ABC moderators David Muir and Linsey Davis found themselves in the unenviable position of having to correct false claims on live television, particularly from former President Trump. Whether it was his insistence that Democrats support “executing babies after birth” or his bizarre assertion that immigrants in Ohio were kidnapping and eating people’s pets, Muir and Davis were forced to hit the brakes on more than one occasion.
“Actually, Mr. Trump, that’s not true,” Davis said, interrupting Trump mid-rant. The former president’s response? A classic scowl, followed by an off-script tirade about media bias, the Deep State, and a conspiracy involving Elon Musk’s space program.
Kamala Harris, for her part, managed to get a few words in between Trump’s interruptions, but the real drama of the evening was the moderators’ futile attempt to keep the debate grounded in reality. And as it turns out, reality was not what ABC’s audience was tuning in for.
ABC’s decision to fact-check Trump in real-time didn’t sit well with large swaths of the viewing public. For Trump supporters, it was yet another example of media bias, with accusations flying that ABC was targeting their candidate unfairly. For others, the constant interruptions broke the flow of the debate, turning what should have been a coherent exchange of ideas into a series of awkward pauses and moderator interventions.
Social media lit up in the hours following the debate, with hashtags like #CancelABC and #LetThemLie trending on Twitter (now X). Memes mocking the moderators’ “truth policing” flooded the internet, with one particularly popular image depicting Muir and Davis as hall monitors chasing after a runaway Trump.
The backlash wasn’t limited to online outrage. ABC’s advertisers, eager to avoid being associated with controversy, began pulling out of future debates. Sponsors like Big Oil, Big Pharma, and Big Everything Else were reportedly furious, demanding that ABC either tone down the fact-checking or lose their financial backing altogether. Faced with an advertiser exodus and mounting pressure from viewers, ABC was left with little choice.
In the days following the debate, ABC executives huddled behind closed doors, no doubt nursing migraines and debating the future of their debate-hosting gig. Ultimately, the network decided it was time to throw in the towel.
“We tried to balance truth with entertainment,” an ABC spokesperson said, addressing a room of exhausted reporters. “But the truth doesn’t pay the bills, and quite frankly, we’re not in the business of losing money. Between the backlash from the public and the demands of our sponsors, it became clear that we couldn’t afford to keep hosting these debates.”
The spokesperson went on to explain that ABC had underestimated the cost of fact-checking, both financially and in terms of its impact on ratings. “We thought viewers wanted a fair, balanced debate. Turns out, they just want fireworks. And if that means letting a few lies slide, so be it.”
As ABC exited the debate stage, Fox News wasted no time in swooping in to fill the void. The network, known for its ratings-driven approach to political coverage, is already gearing up to host the next presidential debate, and they’re making one thing clear: they won’t be making the same mistake as ABC.
“Our viewers want entertainment,” a Fox executive said, barely containing his glee at the prospect of hosting the next big debate. “They don’t want to be bogged down by fact-checking or minor details like ‘truth.’ They want to hear the candidates speak their minds, unfiltered and uninterrupted. And that’s exactly what we’re going to give them.”
Fox has hinted that its debate format will be less about policy and more about personality. Rumors are already swirling that the next debate may include segments like “Rapid-Fire Conspiracy Theories” and “The Spin Zone,” where candidates can present their most outlandish claims without fear of interruption.
“We’re here to entertain, not educate,” the Fox executive added with a grin. “If the candidates want to claim that Martians are stealing jobs, or that vaccines are made of pixie dust, who are we to stop them? Let the viewers decide what’s real and what’s not.”
With Fox News now set to host the next debate, the future of political discourse in America is looking more like reality TV than an exchange of ideas. While some viewers may lament the loss of substance, others are excited about the prospect of a debate free from the “burdens” of truth and accountability.
“Finally, a debate worth watching,” one Fox viewer tweeted. “No more boring facts—just pure, uncut drama. Can’t wait!”
For ABC, this marks the end of an era, but perhaps also the beginning of a long-overdue break from the chaotic world of presidential debates. “We gave it our best shot,” the ABC spokesperson concluded. “But at the end of the day, the people have spoken—and what they want is less truth and more fireworks. So we’ll leave that to Fox.”
As the media landscape continues to evolve, one thing is clear: the lines between news, entertainment, and political theater are blurrier than ever. And in this new world, where spectacle trumps substance, ABC’s decision to bow out of the debate business may just be the beginning of a much larger shift in how we view political discourse.
NOTE: This is SATIRE, Not Real News.
