In a development sure to get both chuckles and sighs across the nation, airports across the United States are reportedly preparing to install signs reading, “Movie Stars Leaving the Country This Way.” The signs, which are expected to appear in airports coast to coast, follow Donald Trump’s re-election and are intended to make the process of celebrity exodus as seamless as possible. Positioned strategically at departure gates, the signs are meant to guide any Hollywood elites who might, once again, be entertaining the idea of leaving the country.
The Federal Aviation Administration (FAA) has confirmed the new signage as part of its “Enhanced Celebrity Exit Program,” with officials explaining that the move was partly inspired by social media comments and past celebrity statements about “moving to Canada” if a certain candidate won. “Our objective here is to assist in the smooth departure of any stars who may have declared their intentions to relocate,” said FAA spokesperson Tom Landry. “We’re simply trying to provide a clear path for those who may feel it’s time to explore life abroad.”
While the signs are obviously tongue-in-cheek, they’re also a nod to a longstanding American tradition: celebrities making bold political declarations that, if history is any indicator, are rarely followed through. Ever since Trump first ran for office, some high-profile Hollywood figures have vowed to leave the country if he won. Though many were quick to reconsider their statements, the concept of a celebrity exodus has become an amusing staple in American culture.
“Every election, we hear the same thing,” said Landry. “So, why not make it a little easier for those who feel strongly enough to take the plunge? Our goal isn’t to mock but to add a bit of levity for all travelers during what has been a heated political season.”
The signs, which feature an airplane icon pointing toward international terminals, are planned to appear in major hubs like Los Angeles International Airport (LAX), New York’s JFK, and Chicago’s O’Hare, with plans to extend to smaller airports as well. Each sign bears the slogan: “Movie Stars Leaving the Country This Way — Bon Voyage!”
Not everyone in Hollywood is laughing, though. Upon hearing of the new signs, some stars expressed frustration, viewing them as unnecessary jabs. “This is ridiculous. Just because we vocalize our opinions doesn’t mean we’re actually packing our bags,” said one anonymous Hollywood star. “It’s this kind of attitude that perpetuates the divide in the country.”
Other celebrities have chosen to embrace the satire. “I think it’s hilarious,” said an actor known for his sense of humor. “Honestly, I’ve lost count of how many times people have told me, ‘Don’t let the door hit you on the way out.’ Now I know where to find that door!”
While some view the signs as a jab at celebrity culture, others see them as an invitation to laugh at the absurdity of politics-meets-pop-culture drama. “In America, we have a unique relationship with our celebrities,” said pop culture analyst Maya Torres. “These signs are part of a larger commentary on the intersection of fame and politics, which has been in the spotlight more than ever in recent years.”
For everyday travelers, the signs are a welcome bit of humor amid the usual airport chaos. Passengers at LAX were spotted snapping selfies with the signs, many of them giggling at the idea of movie stars dutifully following the arrow. “It’s nice to see the airport having a bit of fun,” said one traveler. “Between the long lines, lost luggage, and layovers, a laugh like this is exactly what we need.”
One family on their way to Canada for vacation was delighted by the sign at the terminal. “This is the best thing I’ve seen at an airport in ages,” said the father. “Though, if we see any actual celebrities using it, I might just pass out from laughter.”
Even flight attendants and pilots have joined in on the fun, with some playfully directing passengers toward the “Celebrity Exit” section, hinting that “A-list” passengers might just have their own red carpet waiting on the other side.
Unsurprisingly, the signs have ignited social media, with hashtags like #CelebrityExitGate and #ByeHollywood trending nationwide. Some users posted humorous suggestions, urging airports to install “Oscar-Only” security lines or “Celebrity Visa Application Desks” for those preparing to relocate permanently.
One viral tweet read, “Can we get a live cam at the celebrity exit? I’d love to see the line for the ‘I’m moving if he wins’ crowd.” Another joked, “Imagine finding out your flight is delayed because your terminal has been taken over by Hollywood’s finest heading to Canada.”
While some celebrities have responded defensively, others have been quick to poke fun at themselves. A popular talk show host tweeted, “You’ll find me at Gate B5 with my bags packed… kidding! But hey, at least now I know where to go if I ever change my mind.”
Political commentators have also weighed in on the unexpected announcement, with some noting the irony of Hollywood’s vocal opposition to certain policies while enjoying perks and privileges that most Americans do not. “This is satire at its finest,” one commentator wrote. “Let’s see if anyone takes the bait this time.”
Not one to miss out on a marketing opportunity, budget airline JetX has already rolled out a “One-Way Ticket Special,” advertising reduced fares for those who “need a swift, permanent getaway.” “We’re here for everyone, but especially for those who might be rethinking their place in the U.S.,” the airline’s ad campaign reads, accompanied by a dramatic image of Hollywood Hills disappearing into the distance.
While the airline’s campaign is clearly in jest, it has generated a spike in ticket sales, especially to Canada and Europe. “Hey, if people want to have some fun with it and book a trip, we’re more than happy to help,” said a JetX spokesperson.
While many stars have openly expressed their discontent with Trump’s re-election, few have shown serious intentions of leaving. “It’s all about making a statement,” said entertainment reporter Vanessa Cruz. “Yes, celebrities sometimes say they’ll leave the country, but the vast majority of them end up staying right where they are. After all, Hollywood is their home.”
Nonetheless, the signs have led some to wonder if the latest round of “I’m leaving” declarations might actually have a few takers this time. Real estate agencies in Canada and Europe have reported a slight increase in inquiries from American clients, though it’s unclear if this is connected to the political climate or merely coincidental.
For now, the airport signs serve as a humorous reminder of America’s unique relationship with its celebrities, particularly those who often weigh in on political matters. Whether you’re a movie star, a pop singer, or just an everyday traveler, the message is clear: in America, politics and pop culture will forever be intertwined.
And as for Kid Rock? Rumor has it he’s offered to fund even bigger signs at every departure gate, just in case some stars need the extra encouragement to follow through on their statements.
NOTE: This is SATIRE, It’s Not True.