Tom Hanks
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in Satire
Breaking: Tom Hanks Was Thrown Out of Oscars 2024, ‘We Didn’t Invite You to Come’
In a moment that seemed ripped from the pages of a Hollywood screenplay rather than from the annals of Oscar history, Tom Hanks, one of the film industry’s most beloved and respected figures, was escorted out of the 2024 Oscars ceremony. The reason given for this unprecedented action? A simple, yet profound, “We didn’t invite […] More
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in Satire
Breaking: Mark Wahlberg Withdraws from $165 Million Film with Tom Hanks, “What A Scrawny Woke Creep”
In a surprising turn of events that has sent ripples through Hollywood, Mark Wahlberg has officially withdrawn from a highly anticipated $165 million project co-starring alongside Tom Hanks. The abrupt departure, underscored by Wahlberg’s controversial remark labeling Hanks a “woke creep,” has ignited a firestorm of debate and speculation within the industry and among fans. […] More
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in Satire
Breaking: Guy Fieri Kicks Woke Tom Hanks Out Of His Restaurant, “He’s Creepy And Ungodly”
In a shocking turn of events that left diners and staff at Guy Fieri’s renowned restaurant in disbelief, the celebrity chef himself, known for his vibrant personality and iconic dishes, decided to take a stand against what he called “ungodly wokeness.” The target of his culinary wrath? None other than the beloved actor Tom Hanks. […] More
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“Take Your Wokeness Somewhere Else”: Roseanne Barr Throws Tom Hanks Out Of Her New Show
In a recent, groundbreaking development that has reverberated across the entertainment industry, esteemed comedian and actress Roseanne Barr has made a bold and unexpected move by dismissing the acclaimed actor Tom Hanks from her latest television project. This decision was underscored by Barr’s emphatic statement: “Take your wokeness somewhere else.” This surprising altercation between two […] More
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Breaking: Tom Hanks Refuses Rob Reiner’s Offer, Says “I Don’t Work With Woke People”
In a twist that could rival the plot of a blockbuster movie, Tom Hanks, the epitome of American cinematic nobility, has reportedly turned down a collaboration with Rob Reiner. His reason? A simple, yet profoundly baffling statement: “I don’t work with woke people.” Now, let’s unpack this kettle of fish in the sprawling, unpredictable narrative […] More