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Breaking: Disney Loses Nearly 50 Million Subscribers Overnight Following Elon Musk’s Boycott Call
In a twist that could rival any gripping saga, Disney, the global entertainment titan, recently faced an unprecedented storm as it witnessed an overnight loss of almost 50 million subscribers. The catalyst behind this staggering exodus was none other than Elon Musk, the boundary-pushing CEO of Tesla and SpaceX. As the dust settles on this […] More
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Breaking: Disney Boycott Gains Momentum After Elon Musk Tells CEO to “Go F*** Yourself.”
In a shocking turn of events, the global entertainment giant Disney has found itself at the center of a brewing storm as millions join a burgeoning boycott. The catalyst for this widespread protest stems from none other than Elon Musk, the enigmatic CEO of Tesla and SpaceX, who, in a recent social media clash, told […] More
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Breaking: Disney Is Selling ABC For $20 Billion, New Owner Wants The View Cancelled
It’s the end of an era in the broadcasting world as Disney is set to sell ABC for a mere $20 billion, a move that has not only shocked the industry but also ignited a series of debates about the future of television and, more specifically, the fate of the long-standing talk show, “The View.” […] More
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‘Don’t Want Wokeness In My Life’: Sylvester Stallone Rejects Disney’s $500 Million ‘Woke’ Movie Offer
In a move that has left Hollywood’s elite clutching their organic, sustainably-sourced pearls, Sylvester Stallone, the man who taught us all to “fight for what’s right” in a boxing ring, has turned down a staggering $500 million movie offer from Disney. His reason? He’s had enough of the “woke crap.” While some might see this […] More
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Breaking: Denzel Washington Declines Disney’s $50 Million Project, ‘They’re Too Woke’
In a shocking turn of events, Denzel Washington, the actor known for his nuanced portrayals of complex characters, has turned down a whopping $50 million project with Disney. The reason? According to Washington, Disney is “just too woke” for him. While some might see this as a principled stand, others are left wondering if Washington’s […] More
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Breaking: ‘Woke’ Disney Loses Almost $100 Billion Due To Recent Box Office Flops
In an unforeseen turn of cosmic events, Disney, the once undisputed titan of the entertainment world, has somehow managed to lose an amount that would make even Scrooge McDuck flinch – almost $100 billion. As audiences reject the recent flurry of ‘woke’ reinterpretations, one can’t help but wonder if Disney might have had a better […] More
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Breaking: Woke Disney Declined To Release Anti-Woke Film ‘Sound Of Freedom’
In the unpredictable world of film distribution, one story that has seemingly flown under the radar is Disney’s refusal to release ‘Sound of Freedom’, the anti-child trafficking drama based on real events. This decision has since been underscored by the film’s tremendous success, adding a layer of intrigue to the narrative surrounding its production and […] More
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Just in: Disney Is Selling Off ABC Network, New Parent Company Wants ‘The View’ Cancelled
In an outlandishly unexpected twist that could only occur in the realm of showbiz satire, it seems that the House of Mouse is ready to unload one of its prime assets – the ABC Network. The potential new parent company, aptly named “No Nonsense Corp,” is setting its sights on a complete overhaul of the […] More
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Go Woke, Go Broke: Disney Is On The Verge Of Becoming Broke Due To Their Woke Agenda
**Wokeness Woes: Is Disney’s Piggy Bank Crumbling Due to Its Progressive Policies?** It’s a turbulent time for the Mouse House as Disney, the cherished entertainment giant known for princesses, talking animals, and wholesome family fun, teeters on the edge of bankruptcy. The culprit behind the looming fiscal calamity? Disney’s dedication to “wokeness,” as some critics […] More
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Breaking: ‘Woke’ Disney Is Finally Going Broke
In recent years, Disney has become synonymous with pushing a so-called “woke” agenda, embracing progressive ideals and injecting social and political messages into its content. From gender and racial diversity to LGBTQ+ representation, Disney has been hailed by some as a trailblazer in promoting inclusivity and representation. However, as the saying goes, “the bigger they […] More
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Go Woke, Go Broke: Disney’s New Ultra Woke Movie Crashes At The Box Office, 2nd Worst Opening Ever
Disney’s recent animation, Elemental, did not quite make the splash it hoped for during its opening weekend. With a mere $29.5 million yield, the film just barely surpassed the lowest opening weekend record for a Pixar film, previously held by 1995’s Toy Story 2. Looking back, Toy Story 2 debuted with $29 million, only slightly […] More
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Just in: Disney CEO Publicly Admits Wokeness, ‘Yes We’re Woke, There’s No Denying in It’
As the classic Disney tune goes, “When you wish upon a star, your dreams come true.” But in an unprecedented move, Disney CEO has publicly confirmed that the dreams coming true at Disney are increasingly Woke ones. Speaking from a press conference at Cinderella’s Castle, the CEO made the startling admission. “Yes, we’re Woke,” said […] More