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Breaking: ‘Woke’ Disney Loses Almost $100 Billion Due To Recent Box Office Flops
In an unforeseen turn of cosmic events, Disney, the once undisputed titan of the entertainment world, has somehow managed to lose an amount that would make even Scrooge McDuck flinch – almost $100 billion. As audiences reject the recent flurry of ‘woke’ reinterpretations, one can’t help but wonder if Disney might have had a better […] More
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Breaking: Woke Disney Declined To Release Anti-Woke Film ‘Sound Of Freedom’
In the unpredictable world of film distribution, one story that has seemingly flown under the radar is Disney’s refusal to release ‘Sound of Freedom’, the anti-child trafficking drama based on real events. This decision has since been underscored by the film’s tremendous success, adding a layer of intrigue to the narrative surrounding its production and […] More
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Just in: Disney Is Selling Off ABC Network, New Parent Company Wants ‘The View’ Cancelled
In an outlandishly unexpected twist that could only occur in the realm of showbiz satire, it seems that the House of Mouse is ready to unload one of its prime assets – the ABC Network. The potential new parent company, aptly named “No Nonsense Corp,” is setting its sights on a complete overhaul of the […] More
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Go Woke, Go Broke: Disney Is On The Verge Of Becoming Broke Due To Their Woke Agenda
**Wokeness Woes: Is Disney’s Piggy Bank Crumbling Due to Its Progressive Policies?** It’s a turbulent time for the Mouse House as Disney, the cherished entertainment giant known for princesses, talking animals, and wholesome family fun, teeters on the edge of bankruptcy. The culprit behind the looming fiscal calamity? Disney’s dedication to “wokeness,” as some critics […] More
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Breaking: ‘Woke’ Disney Is Finally Going Broke
In recent years, Disney has become synonymous with pushing a so-called “woke” agenda, embracing progressive ideals and injecting social and political messages into its content. From gender and racial diversity to LGBTQ+ representation, Disney has been hailed by some as a trailblazer in promoting inclusivity and representation. However, as the saying goes, “the bigger they […] More
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Go Woke, Go Broke: Disney’s New Ultra Woke Movie Crashes At The Box Office, 2nd Worst Opening Ever
Disney’s recent animation, Elemental, did not quite make the splash it hoped for during its opening weekend. With a mere $29.5 million yield, the film just barely surpassed the lowest opening weekend record for a Pixar film, previously held by 1995’s Toy Story 2. Looking back, Toy Story 2 debuted with $29 million, only slightly […] More
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Just in: Disney CEO Publicly Admits Wokeness, ‘Yes We’re Woke, There’s No Denying in It’
As the classic Disney tune goes, “When you wish upon a star, your dreams come true.” But in an unprecedented move, Disney CEO has publicly confirmed that the dreams coming true at Disney are increasingly Woke ones. Speaking from a press conference at Cinderella’s Castle, the CEO made the startling admission. “Yes, we’re Woke,” said […] More
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Elon Musk Is Considering The Acquisition Of Disney To Remove The ‘Wokeness’
In a surprising turn of events, business magnate Elon Musk is reportedly considering a strategic move that could send shockwaves through the entertainment industry. Speculation is rife that Musk, renowned for his visionary leadership at companies like Tesla and SpaceX, is contemplating the acquisition of the iconic entertainment giant, Disney. The rumored motivation behind this […] More
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Massive Layoffs At ABC: Disney’s Woke Empire Faces Financial Crisis
Following the massive layoffs at Disney, another branch of the entertainment giant left employees and viewers reeling with the surprising and substantial reduction of its workforce. ABC News, mirroring its parent company Disney, dismissed several high-ranking personnel, causing significant changes to its newsroom and production teams. “As downsizing continues across the company, our ABC News […] More
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Just in: Elon Musk Plans to buy Disney
In a surprising move, tech billionaire Elon Musk has announced his plans to buy The Walt Disney Company, one of the largest media and entertainment conglomerates in the world. According to sources close to Musk, he has long been a fan of Disney’s iconic characters and franchises, including Mickey Mouse, Star Wars, and Marvel. He […] More
