Alex Bruno
In a revelation that’s bound to send shockwaves through political and academic circles, one of Kamala Harris’s former university professors has come forward with a bombshell statement: “She was the worst student ever.”
Yes, you read that correctly. Kamala Harris, the current Vice President of the United States, a heartbeat away from the presidency, and known for her sharp prosecutorial skills and famous “cackle,” was reportedly, according to this professor, an absolute disaster in the classroom. It’s a stunning claim, especially given her rise to the upper echelons of American politics—but, as it turns out, her road to success wasn’t paved with A’s and glowing praise from her educators.
The professor in question, Dr. Herbert Pickens, now retired, taught Constitutional Law at Howard University during Harris’s time there in the late 1980s. According to Pickens, while Kamala’s ambition was evident, her grasp of the material left much to be desired.
“I’d ask her to explain a simple concept like a bill becoming law, and she’d launch into this long, winding story about ‘elevating the voices of the people’ or ‘fighting for the underdog,’” Pickens recounted, rubbing his temples as though the memory still gave him headaches. “All I wanted was for her to say, ‘A bill is proposed legislation that requires approval by both houses of Congress.’ But no. Kamala never gave a straight answer. It was like teaching a politician who had already mastered the art of dodging the question.”
According to Pickens, one of the most infamous moments from Harris’s academic career came during a class discussion on checks and balances. “I asked her to explain how the three branches of government keep each other in check. Instead of a straightforward answer, Kamala smiled that signature smile of hers and said, ‘Well, Professor Pickens, I think the real question is: Who’s checking on the people?’ Then she just laughed.”
The laughter, Pickens claims, became a recurring theme in her academic life. “Anytime she didn’t know the answer—and trust me, that was often—she’d just laugh it off. That laugh. I hear it in my nightmares.”
Perhaps the most infamous story from Kamala’s time at Howard comes from her debate class, a course meant to sharpen the argumentative skills of future leaders. But according to her professor, Dr. Judith Malcolm, Kamala had her own, unique approach to debate.
“One time, she was assigned to argue against a proposed tax cut,” Malcolm recalled. “She walked up to the podium, smiled at the audience, and then—nothing. Just stood there. When the class started shifting uncomfortably, she finally said, ‘I think we should really be asking why people need money at all.’ Then, she laughed.”
That was it. No argument, no rebuttal, just a vague philosophical statement followed by her trademark laugh. “It was… something,” Malcolm said. “I’ve never seen anything like it in all my years of teaching.”
From that point forward, “The Kamala” became a running joke in the debate class—a move students would use whenever they were unprepared or completely lost. “It was basically the academic equivalent of dropping the mic,” said Malcolm. “Smile, say something vague and profound-sounding, and hope nobody notices you didn’t actually say anything. Somehow, it worked for her.”
Dr. Pickens was quick to point out that Harris wasn’t just bad at class participation—her written work wasn’t much better. “Her essays were like Jackson Pollock paintings. Lots of words on the page, no real structure, and certainly no coherent argument,” he said, rolling his eyes. “I once assigned a paper on the Fourth Amendment, and Kamala turned in a 10-page reflection on the meaning of freedom, quoting Bob Dylan, Dr. Seuss, and, inexplicably, a fortune cookie she once got.”
Pickens tried to offer guidance. “I called her into my office, asked her to focus on the assignment. She just smiled and said, ‘Professor, isn’t the true meaning of the Fourth Amendment the freedom to interpret it how we see fit?’ Then she laughed, and that was the end of it. I gave up after that.”
Despite her academic shortcomings, Harris apparently had a knack for charming her professors into giving her passing grades. “I’ll admit, there was something about her. Even when she completely butchered a question, you couldn’t help but root for her,” said Dr. Malcolm. “She had this energy. I guess that’s what we now call ‘presidential charisma.’”
Harris’s classmates seem to remember her the same way. “She was always really good at making you forget she didn’t answer your question,” said former classmate Angela Lee, now a lawyer in D.C. “You’d ask her something simple, like, ‘What’s your take on this case?’ and she’d respond with, ‘Well, it depends on how you view justice.’ Then she’d laugh. Next thing you know, you’re laughing too, and you’ve forgotten what you even asked in the first place.”
It wasn’t just her laughter that carried her through school. “She had this ability to make everything sound really important, even when it wasn’t,” said Lee. “I remember one time, she was supposed to give a presentation on landmark Supreme Court cases. Instead, she talked for 20 minutes about the importance of nurturing community. No one stopped her. We were all too mesmerized.”
So, how did Kamala Harris go from being Howard University’s self-proclaimed “worst student ever” to Vice President of the United States? According to her professors, it’s all about confidence. “Look, Kamala might not have known the answers, but she sure as hell acted like she did,” said Dr. Pickens. “There’s something to be said for that. She carried herself with this unshakable belief that she was right, even when she wasn’t. I guess that’s how you get ahead in politics.”
And, as it turns out, it’s a skill that’s served her well. “I’ve watched her in debates, and it’s the same Kamala I remember from the classroom,” said Dr. Malcolm. “She’ll get asked a tough question, give some vague, roundabout answer, laugh it off, and move on. And people buy it! It’s genius, really.”
Harris’s former professors, though baffled by her rise to power, admit they’re impressed. “We never would’ve guessed it, but here we are,” said Pickens. “She’s proven that you don’t need to know everything, or even anything, as long as you know how to make people believe in you.”
When asked about her professors’ claims, Kamala Harris reportedly laughed—a deep, hearty laugh that echoed through the halls of the White House. “Look, I had my own style,” she said. “But hey, I turned out just fine, didn’t I?”
And there you have it—the story of Kamala Harris, the worst student ever, now a vice president who’s mastered the art of dodging questions, charming audiences, and laughing her way to the top. If nothing else, it’s proof that in life, sometimes all you really need is a good laugh—and a lot of confidence.
