Texas Declares War on Lab-Grown Meat: ‘If It’s Printed, It’s Not Welcome Here!’
In a bold move that many say is as Texas as cowboy hats and BBQ brisket, the state has officially banned the sale of lab-grown … Read more
Bill Maher Boots Tim Walz Off Show Mid-Interview: ‘You’re a Disappointment’
In what can only be described as one of the most surreal moments in late-night television, Tim Walz, Minnesota Governor and Democratic vice-presidential nominee, found … Read more
Kamala’s University Professors Confirm: “Harris Was the Worst Student Ever”
In a revelation that’s bound to send shockwaves through political and academic circles, one of Kamala Harris’s former university professors has come forward with a … Read more
CMA Bans Beyoncé for Life After Snubbing Her Country Album: “She’ll Never Be Country”
In a move that has left music fans everywhere stunned, Beyoncé has been banned from the Country Music Association (CMA) for life. The decision, which … Read more
Taylor Swift Picks A Side, Endorses Kamala Harris: ‘She’s the Role Model America Needs’
In a political endorsement that no one saw coming but somehow makes perfect sense in 2024, pop sensation Taylor Swift has officially endorsed Vice President … Read more
IOC Bans Paris from Hosting Future Olympics: “Wokeness and Satanism Crossed the Line”
In what might be the most bizarre fallout from an Olympic Games since that time they tried to combine figure skating and snowboarding, the International … Read more
Steelers Follow Chiefs in Boycotting Pride Nights: “Satanic And Purely Woke Agenda”
In what can only be described as the NFL’s most baffling game plan to date, the Pittsburgh Steelers have announced they will be boycotting all … Read more
NFL Permanently Bans ‘Black National Anthem’: “There Was And Will Be Only One National Anthem”
In a move sure to spark debates that will last well into the next NFL season (and probably the next century), the NFL has officially … Read more
Tim Walz To Move To China Permanently, “Forget It, Maybe China’s The Place For Me. I’d Get More Respect Over There.”
In a turn of events so bizarre it sounds more like a parody of 2024 politics than reality, Minnesota Governor and Democratic vice-presidential nominee Tim … Read more
BREAKING: Texas Declares Bringing a Pride Flag to School a Criminal Offense
In a move that has the country scratching its head (and some classrooms rapidly rethinking their décor choices), Texas has officially made it a crime … Read more
Sylvester Stallone Rejects Disney’s $2 Billion Project: “Don’t Want That Wokeness In My Life”
In a move that shocked the entertainment industry, Hollywood legend Sylvester Stallone has turned down a $2 billion offer from Disney, choosing instead to walk … Read more
Coach Belichick Makes It Clear: ‘There Won’t Be Any Anthem Kneeling This Season’
Foxborough, MA — In a move that’s equal parts shocking and expected, New England Patriots head coach Bill Belichick has declared that kneeling during the … Read more