NBC Comcast Blacklists ABC, “They Owe An Apology To The American People”
In a dramatic turn of events that has left millions of viewers staring at blank screens and scratching their heads, NBC Comcast has taken ABC … Read more
Elon Musk Cancels Exclusive Show with ABC, Calling the Network ‘A Disgrace to the Media Industry’
In a move that has stunned both Silicon Valley and Hollywood, Elon Musk, the self-proclaimed “Technoking” of Tesla and master of the social media universe, … Read more
Leaked Reports Claim George Soros Paid ABC Moderators $1 Million Each to Fact-Check Trump
In a revelation that has sent shockwaves across the political landscape—and provided endless fodder for conspiracy theorists—leaked reports have allegedly confirmed that billionaire George Soros … Read more
ABC Loses $27 Million in Advertising After Debate Fallout, “Won’t Be Hosting Any Debates In The Future”
In a development that can only be described as peak 2024 chaos, ABC has found itself $27 million poorer after losing five major advertisers in … Read more
Taylor Swift’s Big Endorsement Costs Her $125 Million In Brand Deals
In a move that has left corporate sponsors shaking in their boardrooms and Swifties questioning their life choices, pop icon Taylor Swift has reportedly lost … Read more
Debate Moderators Linsey Davis And David Munir Reportedly Fired By ABC, “They Are A Disgrace To Their Profession”
In an unexpected twist that has left journalists and political pundits both stunned and bemused, ABC has announced the immediate firing of debate moderators David … Read more
Kamala Didn’t Need To Debate Trump. She Had the ABC Moderators Do That For Her While She Babbled Like An Idiot
In what has to be the most unconventional debate strategy ever witnessed on national television, Vice President Kamala Harris didn’t seem to need to actually … Read more
Kamala’s Endorsement Costs Taylor Swift 100 Million Instagram Followers
In a plot twist that no one saw coming—except maybe Kanye West—Taylor Swift has reportedly lost more than 100 million followers on Instagram after endorsing … Read more
Elon Musk Endorses The 45th, “Only A Red Wave Can Save This Country”
In a move that surprised absolutely no one who’s been paying attention to his Twitter (sorry, X) feed lately, Elon Musk has officially entered the … Read more
Fact Checkers Reveal Kamala Harris Breaks Record with 29 Debate Lies, “She’s Pro At Lying”
In a stunning revelation that shocked exactly no one, NBC’s fact-checkers have determined that Vice President Kamala Harris lied an impressive 29 times during her … Read more
Texas Declares War on Lab-Grown Meat: ‘If It’s Printed, It’s Not Welcome Here!’
In a bold move that many say is as Texas as cowboy hats and BBQ brisket, the state has officially banned the sale of lab-grown … Read more
Bill Maher Boots Tim Walz Off Show Mid-Interview: ‘You’re a Disappointment’
In what can only be described as one of the most surreal moments in late-night television, Tim Walz, Minnesota Governor and Democratic vice-presidential nominee, found … Read more