Alex Bruno
Mark Zuckerberg, the man behind the world’s most powerful social media platform, Facebook, has finally responded to the recent news that billionaire entrepreneur, Elon Musk, plans to buy the platform.
In a press conference held at Facebook’s headquarters in Menlo Park, California, Zuckerberg addressed the media and the public with his thoughts on the matter.
“First of all, I would like to say that I am completely shocked and taken aback by this news,” began Zuckerberg. “I mean, it’s not like Elon has ever shown any interest in social media before. To be honest, I think he’s just trying to get attention.”
Musk, the CEO of SpaceX and Tesla, announced his plans to purchase Facebook earlier this week, stating that he plans to use the platform’s data to improve his own companies and to “make the world a better place.” However, Zuckerberg was quick to dismiss these claims.
“I’m sorry, but I find it hard to believe that Elon actually wants to use Facebook’s data to make the world a better place. I mean, come on, have you seen his Twitter feed? It’s like a middle schooler’s diary. He’s always tweeting about memes and making jokes about Dogecoin. I don’t think he’s really in a position to make the world a better place.”
Furthermore, Zuckerberg stated that he believes Facebook is worth much more than what Musk is offering. “I mean, we’ve got over 2 billion, monthly active users. That’s like, way more than the population of China or something. And we’re not even Chinese. That’s got to be worth something, right?”
When asked about the potential consequences of Musk’s acquisition of Facebook, Zuckerberg was dismissive. “I don’t think there will be any consequences, to be honest. I mean, we’ve got all your personal information. That’s got to be worth something, right? I’m sure we can figure out a way to monetize it.”
The press conference ended with Zuckerberg making it clear that he has no plans to sell Facebook to Musk and that he believes the company is worth much more than what the billionaire entrepreneur is offering.
Note: This is a satire article. Enjoy!
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