In a shocking turn of events, tech mogul Elon Musk has announced that he has purchased Google for an undisclosed sum.
According to Musk, the acquisition was a natural fit for his companies, which already include SpaceX, Tesla, and Neuralink.
“Google’s search algorithms and data collection capabilities will be invaluable for our mission to colonize Mars,” he said in a press conference.
“Plus, with Google Maps, we’ll finally be able to find our way around the red planet.”
When asked about concerns that the merger would lead to a monopolization of the tech industry, Musk scoffed. “Monopoly? Please. We’re talking about interplanetary domination here. And with Google’s resources, we’ll be able to achieve it in no time.”
Insiders say that the acquisition was made possible by Musk’s recent successful launch of a Tesla Roadster into orbit, which he used as collateral for the massive loan he took out to buy the company.
“It’s a small price to pay for the future of humanity,” he said.
The move has sparked mixed reactions from the public. Some have praised Musk for his ambitious vision, while others have criticized the potential for increased surveillance and loss of privacy.
In response to these concerns, Musk announced that he plans to rename the company “Googlex,” and that all Google products will now come with a “Mars mode” that will automatically encrypt all data to protect against Martian hackers.
Despite the controversy, it seems that Musk’s acquisition of Google is here to stay.
And with the combined power of SpaceX, Tesla, Neuralink, and Google, the sky (and beyond) is the limit for this tech visionary.
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